Wednesday, April 1, 2015

APRIL FOOLS BY Carson Bishop


Carson put flour in my blow dryer!! It took me two hours to clean up myself and my bathroom!!



Carson was so excited for Jessie to "happen" upon this!!


Carson Bishop composed this and posted it to FB:

Yesterday was quite a successful day for me. I would just like to make a full, detailed account of my achievements for all to see and to know. It all started a few days before April 1st, when I realized, "Crap! It's April 1st in a few days! I need to do something this year!" You see, April Fools day has always held a high standing on my favorite holidays list, but it always come without warning or preparation. But not this year. This year when I realized how close the day of deception and trickery was, I said to myself, "Not this year! This year I'm gonna do crap! And it shall be glorious!" And glorious it was.
 I consulted with the entity of infinite knowledge known as the Internet to plan my shenanigans, and two days later it was time to set these shenanigans in motion. I went to the kitchen and seized two containers: one of crisco, the other of flour. I carried these with me to my parent's bedroom, where I quickly found that my mother was asleep, causing me to become light upon my feet so as to not wake her and spoil the surprise.
 I crept into the master bathroom and, setting the flour down on my mother's sink, went to cover my father's deodorant with the crisco. It was rather disgusting. I thought about what I was doing, and realized that I had just rubbed my finger all over the juices of my father's armpits. Needless to say I hastened to finish that job. Which became a trial, as I had applied quite a lot more crisco than I meant to, and it was so conspicuous that I knew my father would never fall for such an obvious attempt at trickery.
 Once I had wiped off a sufficient enough amount so as to cover my tomfoolery, I walked over to my mother's sink, where I did have such a moral dilemma as to stay my hand for a fair amount of time. I asked myself if I had such a right as to pour this powdery ingredient into the hairdryer of my own mother. After much consulting, I said to myself, "No mercy," or something of the sort, I do not remember the exact quote, and I poured the cup of flour into the hairdryer, learning as I did how flour will, if given the chance, latch onto your clothing without hesitation, as well as spread itself over as wide an area as it can. I finished the job, and began wondering how long it would be before I was kicked out of this honorable household.
 After putting the crisco and the flour back where they belonged, I proceeded to hurriedly remove all signs of flour from my clothing before continuing to my next act of mischief. I traveled to the front hallway, where all of the shoes that my young sister might wear are kept. I then searched through and removed one shoe from each of all the pairs of shoes belonging to my sister and placed them gingerly in the closet located nearby.
 Once I had completed my homework, I retired to the second floor, and quietly made my way to the alarm clock of that same sister whom I had taken the shoes from. Performing mathematics in my mind, I calculated that setting the time so that it was ahead three hours would cause her 7:30 alarm to begin its horrendous screaming at the time of 4:30 in the morning. While scrubbing my set of food crushing mechanisms I noticed a bottle of cetaphil sitting near me, with the deodorant of my sister on the opposite side of the counter. An idea quickly formed in my mind, though I admit it was not a very clever one. It was done on impulse, and was clearly the weakest of my practical jokes, but it was not the last.
 The morning of the 1st of April was a fine one. I managed to wake from my slumber and make my way downstairs, where my mother was surprised to see me awake. She had not used her hairdryer that day, and I was quite disappointed to learn that she would not be using it today, but instead would next be using it tomorrow. In my sorrow, I told her what I had done, knowing it would not be right if she were to be coated in a fine powder the day after it was to be expected. Despite my state of great distress, I pushed forward, and suggested she use the hairdryer on the sister I had already messed with so much. I then proceeded to continue with my regular routine of preparing myself for the day, and once I had finished that, it became time for my masterpiece. My finest work.
 Bringing a bag of the cereal known as Cheerios, a spoon, and a gallon of cow's milk, I returned to the bathroom, and stood in front of my sister's sink. Smiling to myself, I began to empty the Cheerios into the sink, until more than half were residing in it. I then, as is customary with cereal, poured the milk into the sink as well, placing the spoon gently on the counter next to it once I was finished.
 I attended school with my knee covered in dry red ink that had been used by me the day before for a movie, and I was surprised when a select few believed me when I said I had scraped it very badly. Midway through the day I received a text from my mother claiming I was dead to her, as she had forgotten about the flour I had filled her hairdryer with. Minutes later, I received another text from my father wishing me a happy April fools day, and expressing how I should be grateful my armpits were not greasy.
 This has been an incredibly long post, even by my standards, but if you've stuck with it to the end, I'd like you to comment "Why are your posts always so full of things for my mind to enjoy?" or "You win at April Fools!" or "You are a twisted demon, and I hope you will come to regret your actions someday."
 I'd also just like to mention that I evaded being fooled for the entirety of the day.

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