It is 11 PM and I am still awake anticipating getting up at 6 AM to go to Hunter's Middle School to pick up his football pads and then to the funeral of a dear sister in our stake who lost her battle with adrenal cancer.
My awakened state may be because of the cherry/vanilla diet dr. pepper that I consumed at 7 pm OR the fact that I have to sleep in Jessie's bed. After playing at the petting zoo for an hour at 5 PM , Jelly fell asleep in the car and I transported her carefully to my bed to sleep. SHE IS STILL ASLEEP! Brad and I decided to leave her there all night. Thus, I am sleeping in Jess's bed so as to NOT wake her.
I recently finished reading the "Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch--he died of cancer a week ago. The final pages had me sobbing uncontrollably as they were dedicated to Randy's 3 young children. I used an ORANGE highlighter to remind myself of the many inspiring quotes he coined and will share them as necessary. The sentiments he shared are life-changing to all those who are still on this earth.
The last several months, I have tried to honor his legacy and "live in the moment." When I do, I enjoy the day so much more and truly feel I am blessed beyond measure. A swelling of emotion occurs:
--when I look at my beautiful Jessie, talking and formulating her own thoughts and phrases:
--when I put Carson to bed at night and we have our own 1/2 hour private time. He tells me stories--sometimes I fall asleep--but he still tells them anyway:
--when Hunter shows compassion for his siblings and cares for them and their needs
--when my 16-year-old flirt comes home with stories of his "Social time" with friends and spiritual experiences that shape his character
--when Brad bonds with his boys through music and movies that only BOYS can understand!
I have many faults and our family is by no means perfect or even harmonious at times, but they are so much apart of fulfilling my dreams. How blessed I am to still be here to see them grow, change, and mature!
While I deeply mourn for those who are left to bare the pain of death, I would hope they would continue to LIVE as their loved ones CAN'T!
4 comments:
OK, I did send an email before, probably twice! Here's where I can post a comment! I'm learning, but it's slow. I really appreciate and enjoy your thoughtful writing, and your exceptional children (not to mention your incomparable husband!
Steph! I have started "The Last Lecture" and am enjoying it as well. Did you know you can see his actual lecture on YouTube? It is really touching. It was his wifes birthday that day and he brought out a cake and had the audience sing to her...I cried. I agree, we need to live in the moment and love fully!!
I can see us doing that for bookgroup. I almost got it thinking it would be something that might be helpful.
I read his book and then watched it on You Tube. Randy Pausch is very inspiring. Impressive that he was so great at learning life's lessons and had a great attitude even before he knew his time was limited. Wow.
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